Host: Hey, Bender, welcome to the chat!

Bender: Hi, everybody, this is Bender.

Bender: Please type in your passwords and mothers' credit card numbers.

Question Pompurky: Other than drinking and gambling, what are some of your hobbies?

Bender: Greasing fire escapes, thumb-wrestling with garbage disposals, hitting on stamp dispensers.

Question futuregrrl: Do you ever feel left out being the only robot in the group?

Bender: I always feel bad when other people around me are getting hit by cars and I can't join in on the agonising pain.

Question FrysGIRL: Aren't you afraid of downloading a virus from a hookerbot?

Bender: No, because I always buy Trojan anti-virus software.

Question gmoney: What is your favourite thing about being a robot?

Bender: If your head aches, just take it off and throw it in the fridge for a while.

Bender: Also, I can crush humans with my little pinky.

Question Bender_Fan: What is the one human emotion you wish you had?

Bender: Regret, so I could regret participating in this.

Question Pompurky: Before meeting Fry, did you have a best friend?

Bender: Yes, I used to stand around a lot next to this metal pole...

Bender: but then he got tired of me.

Question Loch: Are you ever tempted to become religious again?

Bender: I sometimes miss the opportunity to be near all those collection plates.

Question futuregrrl: How much alcohol do you need to keep your motor running smoothly?

Bender: How much you got?

Question wipe: What's it like to have an artificial penis?

Bender: You can use it to actually pitch a tent -- for real.

Question malcolmknoll: How were you created. By who??? One of Homer's crazy 20th century inventions?

Bender: For the answer to that question, check out the real powerbook -- the Bible!

Question Stephan: Other than regular visits to the car wash, what else do you do to keep yourself so spiffy?

Bender: Bathing in people's blood and the occasional visit to Elizabeth Argon.

Question FrysGIRL: What would you consider is your best feature?

Bender: Not since Sophie's Choice has someone had to make such a heart-rendering decision.

Question wanderer: what is your favourite beer

Bender: My favourite beer is Pabst Blue Robot because it's the only one that reacts explosively with oxygen.

Question BenderzBabe87: Will u ever have a girlfriend?

Bender: I have a lovely girlfriend. She lives on the Canada Planet.

Question chazzy2501: so are you and nibbler friends now?

Bender: I've come to see things more from his point of view ever since he devoured me and I spent a week in his digestive tract.

Question malcolmknoll: If you could sleep with anyone off of any of the FOX television shows, who would it be and why?

Bender: Let's just say I wouldn't kick that motorcycle on Dark Angel out of bed for leaking coolant.

Question Futurama_Mama: What do you think the year 3000 will be like?

Bender: I'm a little confused. The year 3000 was last year. So I guess my answer is.... Shut up.

Question Qbert911: what would you say to a youngster-bot who was considering "jacking-on"?

Bender: Tell him it's a great investment in his future and not to listen to those preachy video games when they say, "Winners don't jack on."

Question Digitlman: What operating system are you running? BeerBot v30 or....?

Bender: I run Colecovision 3000. The thesaurus has the most synonyms for the word "ass."

Question spinpuppet: So if you were ever to become a robosexual, would Fry be your first?

Bender: For an artist's conception of that encounter, search for the work of the artist Bololo on your Internet machines.

Question Juliet: What's your favourite song at the moment?

Bender: My all-time favourite would have to be demo song #3 on the Casio keyboard/calculator.

Bender: And for a real treat, toss a samba backbeat behind it.

Question Loch: What is your favourite planet to live on?

Bender: Whatever planet I'm on is where I'm at -- just doin' it baby!

Question Juliet: What do you think of Leela?

Bender: Leela who?

Question Futurama_Mama: Who would win in a fight: Bender or Zap Brannigan?

Bender: I would win. Unless Zap had some lasers or special weapons, in which case, I'd steal those and then win.

Question Steve: If you could have any Pet what would it be?

Bender: I have a pet named Fry and it's been hard enough housebreaking him.

Question Digitlman:What is your obsession with your ass?

Bender: What is it with you not having an obsession with my ass?

Question FrysGIRL: Do you have any special talents besides spinning your head along your arms?

Bender: Never mind that question. Let's get back to talking about my ass.

Question DarrellTFO: Bender, Care to share any new one liners (i.e "Bite My shiny metal Ass") that you will be saying in the future?

Bender: Get ready to hear a lot of this one: 1001010011001...

Question Tbot 2000: WHAT DO YOU LIKE BETTER HOOKER BOT'S OR BEER

Bender: I need beer to live, but I need hookerbots to LI-I-I-I-IVE!

Question snookyzback: Do you prefer Malt Liquor?

Bender: To talking to you jerks? Hell, yes!

Question futuro: Bender, any chance, you'll meet the Simpsons?

Bender: Maybe, but I'd have to walk all the way across King of the Hill to get there.

Question KevBell: Bender, what's the best thing about the future?

Bender: You all died hundreds of years ago.

Question 45ACP: What do robots do about hangovers?

Bender: If I wake up without one, I just have a cement truck run over my head.

Bender: That usually gets me back to normal.

Question Stephan: Are you considering returning to the Ultimate Robot Fighting League ring to reclaim your title from the Destructor?

Bender: Only if I can tag team with the Queer Cutter.

Question baloney: besides killing all humans, what do you dream about?

Bender: Killing ALMOST all humans.

Bender: Also, getting to school and realising there's a test I'm not prepared for.

Question gmoney:Who do you respect more, humans or aliens?

Bender: What do you prefer to eat? Dog crap or horse crap? Same question.

Question Futurama_Mama: What is your dream job?

Bender: Throwing jerks into volcanoes, with three weeks paid vacation and a company car.

Question malcolmknoll:What are some disadvantages to being a robot?

Bender: As a performer, I'm not sure I could really do justice to Woody Guthrie's melancholy early material.

Question Jessica_Alba_Fan:Bender, would you still go into a suicide booth if things don't go your way?

Bender: Yes, if only to get the last hole punched on my frequent suicide card.

Question fs666: hey Bender who is your favourite person in the head museum?

Bender: That guy from Police Academy who makes crazy noises with his mouth.

Bender: That guy busts me up!

Bender: How does he do that helicopter?!

Question gmoney:What ever happened to Flexo?

Bender: I don't know, but I'm guessing he shaved off his beard and won a handsomeness contest.

Question chazzy2501: what's your favourite TV show?

Bender:"All My Circuits," although it's been going downhill ever since Human Friend left to do that series about the tough but tender cop.

Bender: Gotta go now. The Eastside Express Line has a couple of new trains I need to vandalise.

Bender: But always remember, I hate you all and don't forget to pay it forward.

Host: Um, gee, thanks, Bender.

Host: Bye, chatters.

Question Jennifer:Bye Bender!

Question DarrellTFO:Later Bender

Question Futurama_Mama:Marry me Bender!